30 x 40
For the past several nights, the antagonist from my past has shown up in my dreams. Although I am no longer associated with them in these dreams, they still try to demoralize me, and I feel isolated and abandoned from those I trusted and cared for.
I wake up feeling unsettled and a little depressed. These nightmares are not as common as they use to be, and I can't help but wonder what has brought them on, and how I can get a handle on what is really bothering me.
I believe it is because someone whom I called my friend and have cared for has hurt me by totally annihilating my feelings as a person. I believed we had a mutual trust and understanding, yet I feel so abandoned and insignificant.
My first response has been to just lump them in with the so many others in my past that had called me friend, and then let me down, and guard myself from becoming vulnerable to people in the future. But, I'm choosing not to let myself go down that path.
I was just at a party last night, surrounded by individuals that I know love and care for me. There were a handful there that continued to care for me in my "lost years" and believed and prayed for my return. Then, there are the 2 or 3 that I've become friends with since returning home 3 yrs ago. These are the people that matter. I am indeed blessed to have them. There will always be individuals that will let us down, but more importantly is for me to remember I have those that really care and support me, in spite of my past and many, many flaws. I think I'll focus on those, and move on.
I wake up feeling unsettled and a little depressed. These nightmares are not as common as they use to be, and I can't help but wonder what has brought them on, and how I can get a handle on what is really bothering me.
I believe it is because someone whom I called my friend and have cared for has hurt me by totally annihilating my feelings as a person. I believed we had a mutual trust and understanding, yet I feel so abandoned and insignificant.
My first response has been to just lump them in with the so many others in my past that had called me friend, and then let me down, and guard myself from becoming vulnerable to people in the future. But, I'm choosing not to let myself go down that path.
I was just at a party last night, surrounded by individuals that I know love and care for me. There were a handful there that continued to care for me in my "lost years" and believed and prayed for my return. Then, there are the 2 or 3 that I've become friends with since returning home 3 yrs ago. These are the people that matter. I am indeed blessed to have them. There will always be individuals that will let us down, but more importantly is for me to remember I have those that really care and support me, in spite of my past and many, many flaws. I think I'll focus on those, and move on.
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